Leadership Non-Negotiables

by | Jun 15, 2023

Clear from Day 1

Eight years ago, I left the United States and moved overseas to begin working as a leader at an international school. Along with several other newly hired leaders, I participated in an orientation run by the Head of School. One of the very first things he said to us was:

“You can be wrong.  You can make mistakes.  You can even fail sometimes.  But you cannot lie.”

Honesty was a non-negotiable for him.  He made that crystal clear from Day 1.

What are Your "Non-Negotiables"?

So what are your non-negotiables as a leader?  Do you state them proactively?  Do you state them clearly?

Figuring out your non-negotiables is easy.  Just consider the following three questions:

Expectations.  What do you expect from every team member at all times?

Red Lines.  What specific behaviors do you refuse to tolerate from team members?

Rationale.  How do these non-negotiables benefit students, families, and educators?

What are My Non-Negotiables?

I express non-negotiables only after I take the time to listen to people in the community.  Teachers, students, staff, and parents will tell you what kind of cultural norms they need leaders to uphold.  But you have to ask.  

In terms of expectations, I have 5 Cs: Compassion, Collaboration, Communication, Continual Learning, and Contribution.  That is what I expect of my team AND of myself.  The key is to hold YOURSELF humbly, honestly, and consistently to the same (or higher) standard.  

In terms of “Red Lines” (i.e., behaviors I refuse to accept), I let colleagues know that dishonesty, cynicism, and intentional harm are things I cannot and will not tolerate at any school I am leading.  

I’ll explain what I mean by “cynicism” in another blog post.  It’s not at all the same as skepticism, which I believe is a necessary element in a healthy professional culture.

Stephen's Leadership Non-Negotiables

A Couple of Tips

A few thoughts as you determine your non-negotiables:

Tell People

Once you know your non-negotiables, share them.  Seek feedback on them.  I try to reference mine as often as I can, and I still don’t do it frequently enough!

I always make sure to discuss them in detail at two points: (1) while I am making a job offer to an applicant and (2) during the first faculty meeting at the start of each school year.

These May Change

You’re human.  Your perspective and priorities may shift over time.  What you hope for in the cultures you build will evolve, so don’t worry if your non-negotiables evolve.  Please just let people know if they do.

Why Does This Matter?

When my former Head of School told me that he would not tolerate lying, what did I feel?  Actually… I felt assured.  I knew my Head of School shared my belief in the importance of integrity.  I also knew what was expected of me, and that put me in a position to deliver on those expectations.

When we share our non-negotiables, some may perceive this as demanding, authoritarian, or threatening.  But if your non-negotiables come from a sincere desire to help people feel safe and to succeed, most will perceive this as supportive, clarifying, comforting, and kind.