Mind the Gap
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
George Bernard Shaw
In 2020, I received an email from a high school senior two months before graduation. The strict pandemic-era regulations in place prevented us from going to school on campus. I was the high school principal, and like many leaders at the time, I was doing my best to care for our community from a makeshift office in our spare bedroom. The reason this student wrote? She wanted me to know what she was feeling.
She told me that being unable to graduate in person alongside her peers was devastating, that she’d worked hard for years with the dream of finally crossing the stage, and that she’d shed countless tears after learning that we had to hold an online commencement ceremony. She also told me that she wasn’t sure I REALLY understood how she was feeling – she needed to believe her principal shared her grief.
I will never forget that email.
I replied immediately and asked to connect with her “face-to-face” by Zoom. I listened to her. I affirmed her anger, sadness, and disappointment. I answered all of her questions about what I was thinking, doing, and feeling. The result of our time together? Improved mutual understanding and assurance that my feelings did, in fact, mirror hers and those of her 300 peers in grade 12.
That was my 5th year at Singapore American School. I’d known that graduating class since they arrived at the high school as first-year students. I cared about them sincerely and with all my heart. I’d lost sleep as the faculty and I sought creative ways to honor their accomplishments. But at that crucial moment, not all of those students knew that. I had not successfully identified and addressed all of the gaps in communication – especially those newly created by the pandemic.
That experience reinforced, redirected, and redoubled my efforts to make sure that I was communicating as clearly, consistently, and compassionately as possible.
Communication Channels
We often tell early career teachers that students “don’t care what you know until they know that they care.” This actually applies to many of our relationships – those we have with young people and adults.
How do leaders ENSURE that people know we care? There are actually countless ways to do this. One approach at the systems level is to build communication channels and use them with discipline.
“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.”
Jim Rohn
In my leadership, I often ask myself the following questions:
- With which stakeholder groups should I communicate regularly?
- What (if any) channels exist for communicating INFORMATION?
- What (if any) channels exist for communicating FEELING?
If trust, safety, connection, and belonging matter in the culture you are building, then working through these questions is essential. They will help you determine where gaps in communication exist and where channels need to be built.
A rule of thumb: tend towards written communication as the medium for information and oral communication as the medium for feeling.
Suggestions
Here are some of the things I’ve learned along the way:
Identify Key Stakeholder Groups and Subgroups
Our key stakeholder groups as leaders include (but are not limited to): students, parents, faculty and staff, fellow leaders, direct supervisors, the Head of School, and the Board. You’re well aware of this. I’d also urge you to pay attention to subgroups within those populations for whom additional communication channels are needed. What do I mean by subgroups? Here are a few examples: new faculty, grade 12 students, people of color, school counselors, and the marketing and admissions team. Do you have the bases covered?
Use Face-to-Face Communication Proactively
You already know how important face-to-face communication is. If the topic at hand could provoke uncertainty, anxiety, anger, or dissent, make every effort to deliver the news in person.
But please don’t reserve face-to-face communication solely for problems. Schedule meetings to offer positive feedback. Leave your office to deliver a birthday card when you can. Look a person in the eye when you say, “Thank you.” Please do this not only because it will make delivering difficult news easier in the future, but also because these are the human moments that sustain our communities. These moments sustain us, too.
Communication Channels I Recommend
Depending on your context, you might try these 3 types of channels:
1. Weekly Digest Emails – Information
Try sending one (and only one!) email a week to your faculty and staff. Focus in this email on communicating tactical information clearly and succinctly. Take these kinds of announcements out of your staff meetings. A well-written digest email reduces the likelihood that people will feel like your next “meeting should have been an email.”
Reserve complex or potentially controversial items for when you meet with colleagues in person.
A weekly digest email can also be useful for communicating routine information to students and parents.
2. Weekly Video Updates – Information & Feelings
When I worked at Singapore American School, I collaborated with our brilliant film teacher to create a student-run communication channel called Studio41. Many high school students have the capacity to proficiently and responsibly support your communication efforts.
Currently, I personally produce weekly 5-minute “Morning Announcements” videos for my middle school students. I use a combination of common tools: Google Slides, Screencastify, Apple iMovie, and YouTube. It’s a great medium for sharing information, teaching expectations and values, introducing new community members, celebrating accomplishments and birthdays, and more. And it’s easier than you might think!
I included an example at the bottom of this post. Reach out if you want to know more about how I make these.
3. Daily “Good Morning” Check Ins
Try taking a walk each morning for 20 minutes to visit colleagues’ classrooms and offices simply to say, “Good morning!” No agenda. Just a human connection. You might be surprised how mutually supportive those brief check ins can be.
What approaches do you use to identify communication gaps? What communication channels have you created and how?